One Year

I wasn’t planning on recording this. I wasn’t going to mark it as a special day. I didn’t want to make it memorable. But my husband brought it up and even though I told him of my plan, it did end up sticking to me. It’s been one year since that awful night of my rape and even though I didn’t want to mark it, Karl did say that it was more to highlight my survival and my journey of strength. And I guess I have to. I did learn an awful lot about myself and life and even though it was not the way I would have liked, it sure did change our family’s and my life.

I can’t say it’s been all negative. The year has brought so much for us. Karl and I are stronger and tighter than before. It made us realize what could have been lost. It brought our family of four so much closer. Now, we actually live in the same city, where before, we lived in two separate locations. It brought me to slowing down and learning to be patient and more compassionate. Both my girls have become so much more aware and independent. My youngest girl, because of moving to a larger city, is now working on becoming a model. She’s booked three different calls in August alone! So, yes, I feel we have been blessed, through all the pain and fear.

I am so very grateful for my Lord, in His care of me. That I’ve been able to move past most of it, little by little. Yes, I still have fear, yes, things come up out of the blue, for no reason. But truly, for me, I’m done with feeling sorry for myself. I’m done feeling weak, I’m done with thinking about it. I’m so happy to have new events and opportunities and I’m taking it all! My days are full of things to do, in between three new marketing clients, ViVa Artistry, working with my oldest daughter on the ice cream shop, and developing a new business with my husband.  I think what I can say to those of you in similar situations is that, you are stronger than you think you are. Do NOT let your attacker take over YOUR life. Do NOT give him any room in YOUR head. You are still YOU and there are people who love you as is. Keep yourself busy and involved. Be involved with your family, with your friends. Make your life YOUR own. He does not get to change you or affect your/your family’s lives.

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